[disclaimer read by goku] news reporter [on tv]: over the last 13 hours, more thantwo dozen evacuation orders have been issued all over the globe. thousands upon millions head for the countryside,including the endangered saskatoad t-rexes; while others seek shelter. the world has never seen terror as real as it has today. piccolo: you're kidding me...
Android TV funimation, tien: yeah, right? dinosaurs are still a thing.it's odd how we never talk about it. at least not since we drove them out of the cities. piccolo: i'm talking about terror! "never seen," my ass; my dad released every murderer outonto the streets and overthrew the world government!
tien: oh, right; and the king of the world is a blue cairn terrier. piccolo: it's bullshit! tien: i think it's pretty progressive. vegeta: awwww, look at the poor namekian, lost and forgotten to time. news reporter [on tv]: even the attack of the saiyansfive years ago pales in comparison to this overwhelming threat, as if comparing a cataclysm to a rampaging toddler. vegeta: bullshit! we turned an entire city into a glass floor! piccolo: awwww, look at the poor saiyan, lost and forgotten to time. vegeta: *watch it*, namekian; unless you want to go right now,and i think we *both* know how our last fight went.
piccolo: and i think we don't, because we've never fought. vegeta: i... wait... y-- really?but then how did you-- piccolo: your dumbass friend. vegeta: riiight!wow, we've never actually fought, that's so weird. isn't that weird, black man? mr. popo: yeah!almost as weird as what's gonna happen if you call me that again! vegeta: 'what is he...?' [they all sense goku and gohan's ki] goku [off-screen]: alright now, gohan.when you get out there, try not to brag.
gohan [o-s]: about what? goku [o-s]: that's it, son.don't let slip just how much stronger we are. otherwise, vegeta will be all,"oh, but my pride, grr, i wish i were a carrot". gohan [o-s]: that's not *in*accurate... goku [o-s]: piccolo will probably just growl and grumble;really, it's too bad we're out of namekians for him to absorb, then he'd be as strong as vegeta.vegeta: [growling to himself] goku: speaking of, did you know they've never fought?crazy, right!? oh, hey guys, what'd i miss? vegeta: mock my pride...!
goku: huh, what'd i tell you?he's like a see-n'-saiyan. vegeta [o-s]: i'ma kill him! [♫ "cha-la head-cha-la" ♫] ♫ cha-la head-cha-la ♫ ♫ egao urutora zetto de ♫(with a smile that’s ultra-z) ♫ ky㴠mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫(even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~) ♫ sparking! [fading echo] ♫ (subbed by hideo kojima) [turns out gohan has his dad's tardis stomach as well. lol]
[and a grinder for a mouth.] tien: soooo... goku: hm? tien: was there enough food in there? goku: hmm... piccolo: did you get stronger? goku: mmhm! trunks: stronger than cell? goku: hmmmmmmm...
piccolo: for the love of-- swallow! now! [start 0:00] [0:01] [0:02] [0:03] [0:04] [0:05] [stop 0:06] goku: ...i'm not pooping tonight.
piccolo: are you stronger than cell?! goku: i'ma need my threads first. yo, mr. p! hit me up! mr. popo: bitch, you're lucky you're endearing. goku: hehe... android 16: another reason i want to kill son goku?he is so orange. it's like - come on... there are other colors. am i right? bulma: so we'll have to machine the skull ourselves...
android 16: another reason to kill son goku, you ask? his stupid face. have you seen it? bulma: yeeeep. android 16: that's a face even a mother could kill. bulma: now luckily, dad has enough synthetic skin to patch that area. android 16: another reason to kill son goku is-- bulma: hey... so, how about we talk about something else? android 16: very well.
what is your favorite type of bird? bulma: oh, umm... penguins. android 16: wrong! goku: ahhh, good ol' orange.really brings out my stupid face. mr. popo: i had them washed for you. goku: aww, man!now they don't have that "goku" smell. hey gohan! we'll have your mom make you a new gi when we get home.you're probably too big for your old one now. gohan: i've got it covered.
uh... mr. piccolo?could you... uhh... piccolo: what, you want you to make you a gi like your dad's? gohan: actually, i was hoping i could get one like yours? piccolo: oh! nail: 'did our heart just skip a beat?' kami [probably grinning]: 'that is precious.' piccolo [clenched teeth]: shut. piccolo [clenched teeth]: shut. the f***. piccolo [clenched teeth]: shut. the f***. up!
piccolo: yeah, sure. i guess. clothes beam! goku [o-s]: wow... you know, that works on you.i mean, if you don't like orange... piccolo [o-s]: quick rundown: gohan: [happily chuckling to himself]piccolo [o-s]: doors are going to be a little difficult at first; i suggest a 45â° angle. gohan: (sigh)piccolo: also; crowds. but i don't really deal with them... piccolo: also; crowds. but i don't really deal with them... trunks: look, i don't mean to be *that* guy -,vegeta [o-s]: oh, that's "accidental".
trunks: - but, there's a green cyborg elephant in the room. goku... are you or are you not stronger than cell? goku: good question. i'll go check! trunks: i'm sorry; go check wha--? {pop} cell: look, i understand that you sponsor all forms of sporting events... but just so we're clear, you do realize that everyone dies if i win, right?
hetap rep [via earpiece]: yeah, but if you think about it,you kill us, and it doesn't matter. cell: yes. hetap rep [ve]: basically it's a total win-win for us either way. [whoever transcribed the rep is a genius]cell: yeah, i guess that is a win-win for you, isn't it? alright then!it's officially "the cell games: presented by hetap"! goku: i'd kill for a hetap! cell: whoa, jesus! goku: no, actually. it's goku. cell: need to put a bell on you.
goku: huh? cell: nothing! sorry, i just wasn't expecting you for another *week*![chuckles] must look a mess. i just got done finishing the ring, patching a hole...speaking of which! what do you think of our glorious battleground? [chuckles] goku: eh, s'alright. kinda small, innit? cell: i prefer... *intimate*. goku: well, i'm not intimidated either. cell: ohh, but you should be! because in it - we shall decide the fate of not only thisboring blue ball of dirt and water, but the *entire galaxy*!
so you best bring your a-game, son goku.because the stakes... have never been higher! [chuckles] goku: (gasp!) cell: and before you say it, the prize isn't actually steak. goku: i wasn't thinking that. cell: yes you were.[yes he was.] goku: then what is the prize, you monster?! cell: living! also, a lifetime supply of hetap! goku: y'know, they say "lifetime", but they never consider the dragon balls.
anyway, i just came to measure you up. and i gotta say... and i gotta say... nice. cell: baby, you know it. goku: i've seen all i need. now, i'm off to go and have a... high-fiber dinner...[a.k.a. 1,000 fiber-ones. or a bacon-flavored tree.] see you in a week! cell: it's a date... goku: yeah... i know...
that's how days work. cell: ...i'm gonna miss him when he's dead. gohan: so the androids took my arm? trunks: yeah; you lost it saving my life. gohan: well, did it at least look cool? trunks: oh, man, it was the coolest! you were always the first to jump in a battle... and you never backed down...and you saved my life so many times! gohan: i died, didn't i? trunks: brutally...
[instant transmission] goku: wow, okay, yeah, he's pretty strong... also, really handsome...like, why did none of you warn me he would be so handsome? piccolo: but is he *stronger* than *you*? goku: if he's as strong as he is handsome, then oh-ho boy. i mean, i'd never cheat on chi-chi, but... gohan: dad. goku: so handsome... piccolo: well then, if it's all the same to you, i'ma take my turn inside the chamber.
goku: hey, maybe after you're done, you and 'geetz can finally have a go. goku [whispering]: go easy on him, best buddy. piccolo: ...you know, i was stronger than you yesterday. goku: yeah, but that was a year ago... we've *all* grown! like gohan! just look at him!all super, and saiyan... trunks: about that! you've been super saiyan since you came out.what's up with that? gohan: well, after extended exposure and focus,our bodies acclimated to the elevated state. we can sustain it without literally any loss in stamina!
vegeta: what?! >:o goku: yuh-huh!also, we kinda forgot how to turn it off. ha-ha-ha... gohan: truthfully, it's very concerning. goku: yeah, for *cell*! and, uh, also doors... mr. popo: *what did you do*? goku: see you at "the cell games: presented by hetap"! vegeta: 'that hollow-skulled bastard, now i'm angry and thirsty!' boy!trunks: huh?
vegeta: we're going back in the chamber and fixing this immediately! trunks: yeah, piccolo just went in. {slam} vegeta: wha-ugh... then what the hell am i supposed to do for 24 hours?!hang out with you two idiots?! fine. your literal humanity disgusts me, anyway. guess it's just you and me now, black man. mr. popo: (sigh) vegeta: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...! yajirobe: see? i told you it would happen.
korin: t'was never a matter of if... [sip] {booom} only when. krillin: crazy, you're both like a year older now, huh? goku: yuh-huh! which means he's teen gohan, now! gohan: actually, i'm 11, so that means that i'm a pre-- goku: that means *you* need a birthday party! krillin: ooo! can it be super saiyan themed?
gohan: (gasp), with little spiky pieces of yellow frosting? goku: that sounds amazing... chi-chi! super saiyan cake me! chi-chi: ...goku? goku: yeah? chi-chi: did you take our son into a magical realityoutside of spacetime, for an entire year, bleach his hair without my consent,and suddenly come back home demanding *birthday cake*? goku: if it makes you feel any better, it's not bleach... chi-chi: it doesn't.
goku: are you upset? chi-chi: no... because i know how you're going to pay me back. gohan: mom, what do you mean? chi-chi: krillin... would you take gohan out for a few hours? krillin: gohan, we're going to kame house. [krillin and gohan run off into the distance]goku [kinda scared]: wait, what does she mean?! guys?!? [door closing] [door closing]chi-chi: he said one week... [closed]chi-chi: he said one week...
chi-chi: he said one week... and i'm using it. goku [scared (!)]: wha... what are you-- chi-chi: [repetitive / agressive grunting]goku: *huaah*...! chi-chi: [repetitive / agressive grunting]goku: *huaah*... *hah*...! chi-chi: [repetitive / agressive grunting]goku: *huaah*... *hah*... *aah*...! chi-chi: [repetitive / agressive grunting]goku: *huaah*... *hah*... *aah*... *huagh*...! chi-chi: [repetitive / agressive grunting]goku: *huaah*... *hah*... *aah*... *huagh*... *ka*...! chi-chi: [repetitive / agressive grunting]goku: *huaah*... *hah*... *aah*... *huagh*... *ka*... *me*...! chi-chi: [repetitive / agressive grunting]goku: *huaah*... *hah*... *aah*... *huagh*... *ka*... *me*... *ha*...!
chi-chi: [repetitive / agressive grunting]goku: *huaah*... *hah*... *aah*... *huagh*... *ka*... *me*... *ha*... *me*...! huuuuuuuuuuuuuu?! [outro][as perverted as master roshi is, he probably never did *that* xd] kami: 'seriously... you can materialize clothing from your very being.' nail: 'you wouldn't have to spend *anything* on supplies, manufacturing...' piccolo: 'i am focusing on training!' kami: 'you *should* be focusing onwhat you're going to do after cell is defeated.' piccolo: 'fine, but what would we even callthis hypothetical clothing line of ours?' kami: "big green threads".nail: "big green threads".
piccolo: ...we might need to workshop that. cell (wait, what?): i think it has a *perfect* ring to it. piccolo: yeah, well, you're big and green! you have a bias! nail: 'wait, are we hallucinating?' kami: 'how long have we been in here?' "cell": three days. piccolo: i'm out! vegeta [o-s]: i call dibs! lanipator: hey, everyone. i'm lanipator,co-writer and co-star of dbza, and i wanted to thank you for watching.
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